Families are funny in many ways

Kat Vuletich
and her mews Mack

Every family has one, claimed or not. In every family there is a black sheep. And then there’s the clown. And don’t forget the gloom and doom spoiler. There may be these personalities as well: a scammer, a selfish, a selfless and a self-interested. Maybe combinations of some traits in one member. The dynamics are there, constant, predictable, infuriatingly so.
For those of us who marry, we inherit a second set of dynamics to navigate and fit ourselves into.
Step back mentally. Look at the machine. The cogs. Who fuels who? Who feeds the strife? Who nurtures? Who is the parasite? Who is the patsy? Where do you fit? How do you contribute? Where do you cause friction? You don’t get a bye because you are your stupendous self. Figure out how you function, your place in the big picture.
So, what can you do about those pesky members who cause needless wear and tear? Who sabotage the smooth running of the family as a unit? What can you do to fix the sticky, jack-rabbiting mechanization of the family? Probably nothing.
Just recognize the things you do that muddy the waters and bog things down. Be a better you, be productive and positive. Recognize that the only thing you can change is you, your reactions and behaviors.
Trying to change everyone else is a colossal waste of energy. Energy you could be spending on making yourself a better person -- on several levels most likely. Get after yourself!  
‘Cause let’s face it, the “I” in the family needs work!
The rest of the family, well … love them for who and what they are.   Support them when they “do good.” Don’t enable those who persist in poor choices. Resist preaching, another waste of energy. And it’s annoying. Encourage your loved ones by example to be their “bestest” selves.
Just so you know, I think I’m the clown. And the know-it-all. I do have a high horse. Hmmm. Well, that’s annoying. Yup, I need to work on me.
Much love and God bless.