I’m sure missing the 1950s

I want the 1950s back. Is it just me, or do others pine for the days of old when life seemed gentler, politer and simpler? It was a time of gentility. People, even children, said please and thank you. Hitting, swearing, shouting and aggression of any kind wasn’t tolerated and was rarely practiced. People went to church en masse. Kids went to Sunday school every week and Bible school in the summer. Businesspeople networked in their churches.

Church attendance and congregation membership has fallen off over the past couple decades. Does the eruption of meanness and its stranglehold on our populace correspond to this intolerance, even outright rejection of organized religions? I’ve had friends from several religions, Methodist, Catholic, Lutheran, Jewish, Mormon, Atheism, even Buddhism. It is always a benign factor in the makeup of a person and our friendship. At least for me. Either I like them for who they are, or I don’t.  This decision isn’t bound to their religion, skin color, gender, income or politics.

Maybe a little bound to income, since most of my acquaintances are considered middle-class, like my own family. But the middle-class is becoming a narrowing sector of our communities. Similar to a caste system, this is a controlling factor of our exposure to variable influences that temper our perspectives and experiences.

This pernicious intolerance of differing components of a person’s makeup has a basis in what we consume as entertainment. Music, movies, video games and social media are training our minds to lash out. Cruelty and sarcasm are platforms for humor. Bullying is just a short step from these acceptable normalized behaviors. Manners and respectful interchanges have gone out the window. That window is closing on our capacity to “keep an open mind.”

Critical thinking and polite discourse of differing thought have devolved into a herd mentality. The herd decides what the group thinks and voices those platitudes. It assumes those in hearing range are also of the herd and ascribe to its beliefs. If you’re sucked into this body, it’s difficult to present an objecting viewpoint. Maybe even dangerous. I believe silent objectors are out there, walking around, keeping their opinions to themselves. Whether it’s religion, politics, policy or personal reasons, there’s a lot of eggshells to tiptoe across nowadays.

Can we ever get back to-- Wait, I’ll rephrase. Can we move forward to a thoughtful, polite age of acceptance? Where we listen, think and discuss? Compromise, adjust and agree to reach an outcome that is palatable to all? Is it possible? How do we introduce and teach this way of being? How do we start?

Being polite and respectful in your daily life, in your own home, is a beginning. Children parrot their parents. So, keeping things even keel and kind in your family is the root. Let it take hold, sprout and bloom. Grow it outwards to friends, neighbors and coworkers. Instill these positive, caring attitudes in your actions. Watch it spread. Sit back and let it wash back onto you when you’re seen as a source of thoughtful kindness. It will mean biting your tongue when you’re frustrated or irked, giving yourself a beat to rein in that desire to lash out, reaching out instead with: “That sounds hard. Are you OK? Can I help? Do you need a hug?”

Just be kind. It’s in all of us. Dig deep.