What’s your favorite sport?

Tennis anyone? No takers? How about a round of golf then. OK, that hit a mark. Lots of avid fans for golf. For me, nah. Hard pass, despite the wee drab of Scottish blood in my veins.

One of my favorite jokes goes: Do you know why the television commentators for golf are always whispering? They don’t want to wake up their viewers at home.

I’ve been to the St. Andrews Links in Scotland, the first 18-hole golf course in the world. The beach front at its edge, where the 1981 movie Chariots of Fire’s iconic slow-motion running scene was filmed, held more interest for me. I tried golf once in high school. My girlfriend and I snagged our dads’ clubs and got a student discount at a local 18-hole course. The clubs were way too long for me. But we gave it a try. I think by hole three, maybe two, I was 22 strokes over par. My girlfriend did better. We tossed in the towel around the sixth hole. Not my thing. Another girlfriend of mine, the one I rode horses with, always contended a golf course was a terrible waste of good horse pasture. I can get on board with that.

Baseball? Now we’re talking! Right? Well, think about that. A perfect game of baseball is just two guys (or gals) playing catch. Sorry, I’m just not a fan. But I get why people like it. The decades-old rivalries (like the Mets vs. the Yankees) and team loyalties (they really messed up when they moved the Dodgers from  Brooklyn to LA) have great appeal. Americans need a summertime sport, and baseball fits the bill. It grabs all the age groups, toddlers playing T-ball to grade schoolers playing softball; high school kids playing their hearts out for scholarships and the notice of pro scouts and agents; adult leagues getting together for some friendly competition. Spring and summer months lure all these players out to the grassy diamonds, as well as entire families to cheer them on. Plus, it really rounds out that slogan: As American as baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet. A brilliant advertising campaign for an automobile brand that got its name from a Swiss race car driver who grew up in France.

Then football. How many of you are raising your hand for that? Boy howdy! Stand back. Your hearty hooting is ear-splitting. The American gladiators of the gridiron hold sway, I think, for the most fans attracted to a sport. Certainly, it’s the most watched day of sports on American (maybe the world’s) television. We all have our NFL favorite team. Me, I like the Chiefs (from way back when Joe Montana moved to them from the SF 49ers). But my faves are the Steelers and the Packers. One for each conference. 

So, the sport I truly enjoy? The sport of kings. Horse racing. Why? Horses. Duh. The second reason? The race most Americans tune in for, American horse racing’s Superbowl, the Kentucky Derby, lasts two minutes, give or take a second or two. Unless you’re actually attending the race in person, you might watch the fanfare and pre-race commentary, pre-post rundown of horses and stats and the post parade for a couple hours before the actual race.

Generally, it doesn’t tie you down to cooking and hanging out on the couch for a whole day and evening.  You might have time for a mint julep or two before the race. You can maybe do a charcuterie board with some friends. But it’s likely not going to be a carb-fest of chips, elaborate dips/snacks and alcohol like the aforementioned Superbowl. The unofficial Most Fabulous Women’s Hat Contest spotlighted as the television cameras pan over the Louisville Churchill Downs’ grounds and grandstands crowd can be entertaining. But, the country’s local law enforcement and EMS doesn’t load up on staff the first Saturday in May for the fallout of excessive partying. 

Bonus: If you pick the horse that wins the Derby, you might get the satisfaction of having him (the Kentucky Derby field is all 3-year-old colts, no fillies) win the next two legs, the Preakness and Belmont Stakes races, of the coveted Triple Crown. In 1973, I listened to the Belmont called over a car radio when Secretariat won that race and took that year’s Triple Crown. He won by an astounding 31 lengths in 2 minutes, 24 seconds, a record that still stands for the grueling 1.5-mile race (though the Belmont is now shortened to 1.25 miles). Recognized as one of America’s greatest athletes, Secretariat also holds the record for the 1¼-mile Kentucky Derby at 1 minute, 59 and 2/5th seconds. And also for the Preakness at 1 minute, 53 seconds, over the 1 3/16^th-mile track, a skoosh shorter than the Derby’s.

2018 marks the last time the Triple Crown was won. Justify was the colt I had picked for winning the Derby and knew he had the juice to take all three races. It’s fun to be right. This year’s 151st running of the Kentucky Derby is May 3 at approximately 4:30 p.m. Mountain Time. Stablemate bay colts Citizen Bull and Barnes are the favorites at the moment, but there’s still several qualifying races to run to whittle down the current field of over five dozen hopefuls. Personally, I’m leaning toward Barnes (great pedigree…includes Secretariat). So, go dig out that charcuterie board you put away after Christmas. Get ready to enjoy the most exciting two-minute sports event you’ll watch all year.