Writer offers a glimpse of life and ritin’

As a longtime newspaper reporter and columnist, there are questions that have arisen through the years from readers regarding my columns.

One is, “Why do you write such dopey stuff?” My answer has always been that if someone doesn’t like what I’ve written they should not read it. I also enjoy pointing out that I realize not everyone has good taste.

Another regular query has been, “Where do you get your column ideas?” My response is that the ideas are from life. And I have agreed with some folks that, yes, my columns are similar to the TV series Seinfeld, because essentially, they’re about nothing, just life.

With all that in mind I must point out that at times a happening will trigger a thought such as, “Hey, I should write about that.” For example, on one recent morning I arose from my bed while it was dark outside and stepped on some cat stuff. It was messy and then I found that the litter box wasn’t well, either. Should that be column material?

Maybe. Especially if the topic of kitty cats and their surprises, plus the nearby celebration of Christmas, can be incorporated into a bit of ritin’. So here goes. But if you already think this is dopey, please stop reading, as I don’t want to upset anyone.

Through the years that my late wife, Jan, and I have had feline friends (usually in multiples at the same time) we experienced “interesting” situations. A major one is how cats treat Yule trees. To them, the dangling ornaments are great for batting, especially if the hooks can be dislodged to cause the decorations to fall to the floor and burst open.

They (the cats) also have been found atop a tree or on the higher branches peering out maliciously. That’s some fun, too, especially when they bat at the lights or use the electric cords to help their ascent.

Then there is tinsel. Some mousers have enjoyed not only batting at clumps of the stuff, but for some reason unknown to humans, they chew on strands. That resulted more than once in our having to rescue a whiskered buddy who had tinsel showing from his mouth. And from his rear. Yeah, fun, but the rescue had to be undertaken.

The worst (for me, as a train nut) is that cats are attracted by movement. So they lie in wait to ambush my holiday train and pounce. This results in a major derailment and a major effort to maintain one’s temper and to place the train back on the track. Until the next time it comes around.

Overall, I would say that this has been fun, writing about life. Take it or leave it.
But don’t say that you were not warned.